As I was driving home the other day from work I had this thought that completely distracted me. The thought felt so foreign and it was a realization of something I’ve never thought about before.
“Not every body does this.” It was followed by a pause, and then, “I have to do this.”
What is this?
“This” is my quest for enlightenment. To become one with the Divine/ Universe. To merge the Masculine with the Feminine. To be a body of ever-flowing love. An Avatar. A spiritual light.
“Not every body does this.”
It has never occurred to me that people don’t quest for this. They don’t crave for this. It leaves me lost. What else is there to crave for? To yearn for? I have no idea! If this quest was taken away from me and I was to just live as I was right now, I have no idea what I would do! Would I have just followed what my parents said? Would I just take the easy path? Would there be depression? What would I be learning? No idea.
I think thats what made the thought feel like it was an outsider treading on a path that it didn’t know if it would be accepted or not.
It was rejected.
“I have to do this.”
Why do I have to do this? Why must I travel the path that will take me to this Divine Union that sages, mystics, and religions whisper of in every religion? If you have read the many passages or even a few about this path you will know its hard. And it’s usually lonely. Not many people understand you. It brings great disharmony and pain – you must work through all the layers, karma, etc. before you get to the good stuff.
I have to do this because it is my soul’s desire. It is what I am here for. I have no choice. I wouldn’t have it any other way because this is what I was meant to do. I was meant to rise to the stars, and feel the Universe flowing through me. I was meant to have this Divine Union, and I was meant to teach others about it. I am living my life as I was meant to.
Its just not me that was meant to do this though. It was all of us, all of humanity. That I know. Simply because we all have a soul, and all of our souls want to be set free. On the physical plane that can only happen through enlightenment or death. I’d choose the first one, wouldn’t you?
All I wonder about this is, why me, now, in this lifetime? It seems like so many others are just going on with their lives with the least bit concern about the things that I willingly and want to study. I don’t know. There are more and more people taking up this quest though. And that’s good. It makes me feel less lonely on the path because even though I don’t know them personally, I know that there are people out there going through the same things – or similar anyways – that I’m going through.
I do know I have to work on finding the perfect balance between the physical and the spiritual. It will take time and talent. I know that this is the right path for me right now. I hope you are walking the path that is right for you.