Last night I learnt a little bit more about responsibility. I also choose to take the responsibility for what has occurred in my life. You see, my father and I have not gotten along for about 5 years now – ever since I hit teenage hood. It’s been wierd, and dramatic, and last week it finally came to a climax. We can’t live with each other so I moved out to a friends place, and then, first I talked with my mom, and then I talked with my dad and my mom.
During the conversation with all three of us, I had the chance to bring up issues that had bothered me for a while, and receive acknowledgement and an apology for them. It was awesome, and lifted a huge tension between my father and I. It came to pass that even though I was blaming my father what was going on, just as much blame was to fall on me, as I was very angry at him due to the unresolved issues. I now am working on letting go what is left of the anger that I have, and that I didn’t realize I carried with me.
My mind screams why do you want to let the anger go? Why do you want to have no more drama with your parents? I am sure that’s the ego speaking, the one that feeds off the anger and drama in my life. Now it will have no place to go but shrink and die, as long as I’m careful, and thats okay. I’m okay with letting it go because its time for me to move on to my life.
I’m curious to see what will make my life interesting. I’m supposing that this is a time in my life when everything is quiet and there is not much that happens – drama free. To my nature that sounds so entirely boring, however, I know its good. It will give me time to read, meditate, and reflect. It will give me time to continue my creation of my life as I’d like it to become.
And I’ll do my best to be good to my goals. 🙂
Have a good night.